New Beginings

Sometimes things happen that are out of our control. How a person responds to that situation is what makes them the person that they are. It can make them better, or it can make them more dependent, helpless, ignorant.

My daughter almost made a life changing decision that made me realize what is truly important in my life, that maybe I had lost, or forgotten. I realized that maybe I was working too much, not home enough  to know what was going on. I made a decision that morning when I found out how much my 14 year old daughter had grown up without me. I decided that I would find something where I could be home more.  Even if it would be a financial cut.

I started looking into home health, I had done it as an aide before I started at the hospital. I had enjoyed it. When I started to interview, I realized it could be more money than I was making now. i work less, make the same amount or more.

Leaving the Hospital was a hard decision. At times I loved my job there, but then there were times it was a nightmare. The experience, especially as an LPN was incredible, I was fortunate enough to have floated to other units, since  my mother was one of the nursing supervisors. I will never forget what I learned there. But I had to leave, not just because of my family, but because of the fortunate fact of my mother having worked there for over ten years.

I had an interview at the beginning of  august. My director made it known to one of the people interviewing me who my mother was, every time I went to another unit, it was the same thing you're (supervisors) daughter. I wanted to scream NO I"M MELISA. If I stayed, I would forever be in her shadow, That is not the reason I decided to go back to nursing. Even the money wasn't the reason I decided to go back.  I want to help people, I want to heal them, and make a difference in their lives.

I love my mother and respect all she has ever done, for me, my brother and for herself. More than she'll probably ever know. She introduced me to nursing. Without her I wouldn't be where I am today. I don't know where I would be, who I would be, but from now on I mean to make my own path.

Two in the morning and I'm sitting here still wondering.  Why am I focused on a career that abuses me, rarely appreciates the hard work and long hours.  Why am I not focused on something that I love.  I enjoy being a nurse to most of my patients.  I just want to be home with my kids. I haven't seen my almost freshman since Wednesday and won't see her again until Tuesday.  I  said goodbye to my youngest and won't see him again until Tuesday.  I'm not sure it's worth it anymore.  I keep asking for a sign that I should pursue avon more fully.

time clock

I'm sitting here in front of the time clock,  wondering what I'm doing.  I don't want to be here.  I want to be working on my business.  I want to be home with my family.  I just want to have more energy,  be more productive at home and have more fun. I want to be able to let go. TBC

worries

We're on our way to our event today and I'm in the passenger seat, with the kids in the back plugged in like today's kids are.
I worry about spending enough time with them and giving them the attention that they need.
Working at the hospital three days a week and devoting so much to build my Avon business I worry.
I hope that they understand I'm doing this for our family.  It's taken ian a whil, but now he's seeing the rewards and how it helps me as a person.
Today isn't about sales.  It's about meeting the people that I'm servicing.
Balance is hard

I hurt

So the last time I posted was before my grandmother fell. This has made my month very busy.

Between going to toledo at least once a week,  my three twelve hour shifts, meetings for the hospital and Avon, I'm suprised I know what day it is.
My most recent rewards sales was over $1100. That was with triple dollars on the perfume and cologne sets Ian and I sold. That helps me feel that PC is within reach.
I've finished the tests for my IV course.  I got the results back today, I passed both tests, so now I have to wait for the rest of my materials to come in the mail.
I've spent at least one day a week visiting my grandmother and helping my mom fix her house for my grandmother to live there.  This weekend I'm doing Avon damage control by hosting a  meet and greet about a half hour from her, and in 2 weeks hosting my open house.
I'm so exhausted.  And Sunday morning we're going to move my grandmother's stuff from Toledo to Sandusky.
By the time I go back to work it'll be like a vacation :(

All or Not

So today my upline Melissa and I went back out to most of the places that Sherri took Ian and I last week.  It gave me an opportunity to meet these customers without her and learn what they expect from me.
I learned that they want someone to be there consistently and meet with them.  Someone they can depend on.  I can change the amount of income that comes in from that area.
There are ideas running again.  I need to get out there and gain trust.  This is the number one priority.

Today I'm going to stay busy for home.  I start my three twelve hour shifts a week tomorrow so I wat to get busy planning for our open house on Dec 6. We have a menu to plan, a house to clean,  invitations to make out and so many other things to do.

Also I want to set up a Facebook page for my Avon business.  If I don't do it no one else will.  We're going to take pictures of the items we have and post deals and shipping codes and just promote US.

Without reaching out we're not going to reach our goals.