Don't have to try

With almost fifty home health visits this week, a Band parent meeting, that starts early, parent teacher conferences, two baseball practices, and possibly two track meets this week, its not going to be hard to keep myself busy.
I've actually gotten 14 visits out of the way this week already.  Still have the rest of the day today, and five more days this week. I'm rarely taking a full day off right now. I want to get as much work as I can while we're in between hockey and tennis. I know I'll be getting more visits in a couple of weeks when Kelsey goes on leave, and I'm hoping I can handle it without getting burnt out. I jst want to get the kids camps paid for and the rest of Lucas' hockey equipment.

Audrey says she's not pressed if I cant;make her track meets, which is kind of nice since baseball is(of course) on Tuesday too. Baseball starting is going to keep us busy again, but at least my kids are staying out of trouble.

Ian is trying to get a new job. He wants to go back to delivering for Family Dollar. Possibly with USExpress. We're hoping and praying that the bridge incident doesn't hold him back. I know he's making phone calls today to a couple of the carriers besides the one he applied with. It would be nice to get some good news on that front this week.

2 down, 100 to go

I'm down 2 pounds. I should be down more, but, again I procrastinate, and have only worked out twice in the last two weeks. Today is the first day in the same period that I do not have any visits, and I don't have to be in the hospital for anything. I've already done twenty minutes on the elliptical. I'm getting ready to start working on getting things into the back of my new vehicle.

I love my new car, even though it wasn't one I was looking at. It actually is a better vehicle than I thought we could get. When the salesman brought it up for me to test drive, I almost cried. Now I know how the people on game shows feel when the host says "Johnny, tell them what they've won!" and the announcer says"A NEW CAR!"  Only I have to pay for the car on top of tax title an license.

I'm feeling better this morning, not so worn out, I know my life could be worse, and sometimes, I feel like I'm taking on too much, but when my check comes and I can make my care payment with one weeks work, I know its worth it and we're on the right path.

I'm procrastinating again. I need to work out, and I need to get more people under me as far as leadership with Avon is concerned. I'm letting my anxiety get the best of me. I'm so afraid of rejection and that I'm going to do things wrong that I have a habit of putting it of or not doing it.

I'm anxious for my tax return, as we will be getting another vehicle, and I can't wait.  I have one picked out, but my concern is that it won't be there when I get my money. I have a backup, but I would really, really, really like my first choice.

Last night, I told the BPO I would be their president next year. it wasn't an easy decision to make. But I want to be there for Audrey and help out where I can. That's why I decided to leave the hospital in the first place. Ian was upset, until I explained I why I needed to do this. He's still against it today, but at least he's more understanding.

Got a couple of extra visits this week, both during the day, while the kids are at school, and in town. Makes me happy that the RN thought to ask me to help out. Audrey is enjoying her time at the vet clinic. Tonight is ADM, tomorrow Audrey has jazz band, and this weekend, Audrey has 3 pep bands.

Things are moving along. It's getting easier being home. I like to think we're all finding our places more easily when when the weekends come along.

I think its time to stop procrastinating at least on the workout front.

Tired

Tonight I am exhausted. I don't really feel like I've done much, but I feel like I can barely keep my eyes open.

I went to two car dealers today to look at what I'm thinking of getting when I get my tax return back. (I filed today)  I really think I found what I want, but I'm afraid that my credit will prevent me from getting it. The last year has been really rough and we got behind on everything. I ended up defaulting on all my credit cards and there were health care bills that we couldn't pay. It's been really trying since Ian got laid off.  We're doing our best, and finally starting to get back on track, pulling out from behind some of these bills.

With Lucas' birthday on Saturday, he wanted something to take for his class, so we had to go get cupcakes. Then I realized the cat was almost out of dry food and completely out of wet. So back to the store. THEN Lucas tells me there are 24 students in his class plus the teacher. More cupcakes. THEN it's time to pick Audrey up from the vet. And finally home to make dinner, finish homework,  and get a call from my mom about him having trouble with his oxygen levels.

A quick Avon meeting and it's time for some hockey youtube, a shower and finally bed.

I think I need a longer day.

Keeping it together

After a busy week, I'm glad to be back to some normalcy. Taking the kids to school, meetings at the office, running  to the library. I'm thinking this week I'm going to work on transforming part of the dining room into an office area for me for Avon.

I'm trying to get a handle on our insurance benefits. I'm working on our taxes.  I'm also trying to help Audrey look at colleges for her undergrad school.

My mother called and wanted me to go to the hospital today. Sometimes I think she forgot why I left the hospital in the first  place. I explained about all the kids do and all she said was oh, I'm sorry.

I feel a bit better now. I know I need to be here for my kids.

In it for all the marbles

Today I started recruiting again.  I went out with my upline and DSM recruiting. We hit up some places I've bee to, and quite a few that i haven't . We left a lot of books, an got a new person in my downline. Also, one of my old representatives has said she wants to come back UNDER ME!   I'm excited to be back in leadership again.  I'm pulling out my materials and getting myself set up for success this time. I want to go to Vegas for the national conference this summer. I want to grow and learn and maybe one day give up the 9-5. LOL.  I'm still getting on the elliptical for 15 every day. I don't feel like there's been much improvement in anything besides my appetite. I'm going to keep trying though. I need to lose the weight. Maybe I'll start mall walking a couple of times a week. I can meet new people and get exercise.

Steps

I am taking steps on my own  path now. I am leaving my job at the hospital. It weighs me down. I dread going in there and I am so indecisive when i get a text message on my phone asking for help, and I almost always look for excuses not to go in.

I am ready and willing to take my Avon business to the next level. Anew commitment to making a successful business for myself. I have talked to my DM, and next week she and I are going to work on building my business. I feel good about the decisions I have made today for myself.

Sometimes letting go can be hard, but when it's said and done, it's the best thing we can do for ourselves. I'll miss my rehab girls, but I need to do this for myself, and for my family. my kids are only going to be young once. I refuse to spend it being tired, at work or frustrated because of work.